Surrogacy - Baking your Bun in a Rented Oven

"Motherhood is an integral part of a woman's life but  her identity is much beyond being a mother."

It's 11:00 pm and as I had a long day, I'm about to call it a day but the lil' one insists on some baby and moma time with deep conversation.

My 7 year old: Momma, what's the biggest adventure of your life?

Me: Carrying you in my tummy and moving around effortlessly for 9 months.

My 7 year old: Seriously? I thought a stork picked me from heaven and left me at your doorstep.

Me: Wondering if that could have been true or just like surrogacy, if we could have contemplated on baking our bun in someone's oven. But we were too young and naïve then to even think about it back in 2014. 😃 

Motherhood is the most precious gift the universe has bestowed upon a woman. Creating a miniature inside you is nothing less than a miracle. Although many women don't get to experience this phase directly, surrogacy has proved to be a boon for them! 

What is Surrogacy?

Infertility is an issue creeping into the modern society. But surrogacy gives a ray of hope to couples battling infertility. Surrogacy is a legal arrangement where a  woman (a surrogate mother) agrees to carry a baby in her womb belonging to another person/people (couple) who will become legal parents of the child after the birth of the child. The surrogate is compensated as per the agreement for renting her womb. Long story short - surrogacy is like you baking your bun in a rented oven. Period!

Representative Image: Pexels

Types of Surrogacy:

Traditional Surrogate: One where a surrogate gets inseminated by the sperms of the prospective father of the baby. The surrogate is the biological mother (as she is the egg donor) and she agrees to hand over the baby upon delivery to the couple who hired her. Yes, you got it right, Preity Zinta's role in the movie Chori Chori Chupke Chupke.

Gestational Surrogate: In gestational surrogacy, an 'In Vitro Fertilization' (IVF) technique is used to gather the eggs from the mother (an egg donor) and it is fertilized with father's sperm (sperm donor). An embryo is formed outside the womb (in a lab) and then placed in the womb of a surrogate. The surrogate hands over the baby after nine months to the couple who hired her. Yes, you got it right, Phoebe Buffay in reel life in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. And in real life, Preity Zinta-Gene Goodenough and Priyanka Chopra-Nick Jonas who embraced parenthood recently through this method. 

Phoebe Buffay in F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Reasons for Surrogacy:

While reasons for surrogacy are quite personal, a few can be ageing, health issues, career commitments, single parents or homosexuality. In fact, a lot of celebrities have become single parents through surrogacy such as Karan Johar, Ekta Kapoor, Tushar Kapoor and are nurturing 'Designer Babies'. 

Surrogacy Law in India:

India is known as a hub for getting surrogate mothers and a lot of couples from overseas visit India in a hope of finding a right surrogate and fulfilling their dream of becoming parents. Often movies are a reflection of the society and the movie 'Mimi' portrays the surrogacy saga remarkably!

India legalized gestational surrogacy in 2002 and since then many clinics specializing in surrogacy have flourished over the years. But in order to curb the exploitation of women for commercial gains, the Surrogacy Regulation Act with amendments was passed in the year 2021 that accounted for altruistic (selfless) surrogacy wherein no monetary compensation is offered to the surrogate except for the reimbursement for any medical expenses incurred during the pregnancy phase. 

Surrogacy Procedure in India: 

Incase a couple or an individual (single parent) wishes to embrace parenthood through surrogacy, they can visit any of the infertility clinics within their reach who would be providing step-by-step guidance on the process. 

Cost of Surrogacy in India:

Altruistic surrogacy isn't that expensive barring the medical expense during the pregnancy period. However, the chances of getting a surrogate who will agree for altruistic surrogacy  are very bleak. On the contrary, commercial surrogacy will cost anywhere between 13 lakhs to 20 lakhs depending upon the procedures. 

No matter which method you adopt to embrace parenthood, your love towards your child will always be unconditional as a parent. Further, nurturing them and watching them bloom into self-reliant  human beings is an experience that cannot be expressed in words!

Happy Parenting! :)